Neon Genesis Evangelion Apocrypha
by thingermerjigger
Summary: What if the "End of Evangelion" movie really wasn't the end? Join our hero, Shinji Ikari, as he searches for survivors in a post-apocalyptic hell, thirteen years after the Third Impact. Rated "M" for coarse language.
1. Weaving a Story: The Prologue

He awoke suddenly in a pool of sweat, after dreaming that same dream again. There he was, on that featureless beach of white, surrounded by the ocean, that terrible ocean that smells of blood. On the violet horizon, he saw dozens of crucified forms against the backdrop of a fallen Angel. A pale specter with blue-gray hair and soulless red eyes stared at him for a frightening second, only to vanish as he blinked. As far as the eye could see, the only other living thing was the frail figure of an injured red-headed young girl. She lay immobile, staring up at the full moon. He had been here a hundred times in his restless night hours, which was a hundred and one times he wished he had never seen this sight. Once again he shouted silent screams, and once again the dream plodded along, disregarding his desperate pleas of mercy. His hands clenched around the girl's slender neck, and she died a quiet death, reaching up to stroke his face as the hellish world faded around her.

"I did it because I loved her!" the man shouted to no one in his empty cockpit. "No one should have to live in this hell!"

"Did you really now?" a monotone female voice in his head replied. "Because I think you killed her because she made you feel inferior Shinji. You never loved her; you've never loved anyone, not even yourself".

"Shut the fuck up!" screamed Shinji as he punched into his wall. With another curse, he quickly regretted striking out at the immobile metal sheet. "Dammit Mom…uh…I mean Unit One. I'm sorry," he whispered as he stroked the paneling that was, like most of the mech, suffering from rust and chipped paint. "You don't need any more damage do you?"

With a sigh, he stretched out his sore muscles. Living the kind of hard lifestyle he did, even at 28, was painful, especially if sleep was so brief and tumultuous as it had been for the past few nights. Looking up at the stars, Shinji figured it was just before dawn. He grabbed a small brown and white box from the ground, and pulled from it a cigarette with the number "27" printed on the side. He lit it with a sigh, knowing that the next smoke may never come in this empty world. With another deep drag, he turned to a map of the world taped not far from where he had just struck. The map was covered in kanji, and scribbles, and many areas were completely obscured by black ink, including most of eastern Asia. In other places, there were strange jagged lines, joining some places together, or crossing through others. To the average person, it might have looked like the possession of a deranged man, and in a sense it was. To Shinji however, it was a tool to his sole purpose of existence; that small piece of paper was a means to which he would find the last remnants of society. He grabbed onto the silver cross which hung on his neck and yelled to the breaking dawn:

"Misato, I swear this to you: I shall be the man recompense the wrongs committed by God's Angels! I shall bring about retribution!"


	2. He Was Aware That He Was Still a Child

After a breakfast of stale cellophane wrapped sweets and bottled water, Shinji climbed into the entry plug from his makeshift room which was nestled in the crevice of the nape of Unit01's neck.

"Fuck! I miss the good old days when I didn't have to do all this shit myself," he griped as he sealed the tube. "It's a damn good thing the whole fucking ocean is full of LCL, or piloting this heap of shit would be impossible". Shinji swam to his seat and started the manual startup. As he gripped the handles of the behemoth he was reminded of the first time he had ever been inside this enclosure. The feelings of fear and excitement were still there, despite the fact that it had been more than a dozen years since his last encounter with an Angel. With flashes of color and images, the screens came to life and Shinji was greeted by a featureless landscape. As he looked off into the distance, he thought he could see specks of green in the distance, but chalked it up to his imagination.

"Although," he reasoned. "I think Germany is that direction. That's where…" Images of Asuka Langley Soryu's rotting corpse flashed through his tortured mind. Shinji screamed and slapped himself to regain composure. With deep breaths he reflected on what he had managed to put together from old memories of NERV and from the psychology textbooks he had managed to acquire in his travels. Apparently he had a moderate case of delusional schizophrenia. Knowing he was insane however, was not aiding in it treatment. He had further learned that even under optimal conditions (i.e. before the Second Impact) treatment for his disease would have been difficult, and there was never truly a cure for the psychosis.

'But if the Angels had never attacked, I probably wouldn't be fucked up in the first place'. But even as he thought this, Shinji was aware that it was a falsehood. True, his mother might still be alive, but his father would still have been the same cold, unfeeling bastard. Gendo Ikari: the source of all of Shinji's troubles. From the childhood abandonment, to the Evangelion units which amplified his psychological instabilities, to the failed Human Instrumentality project, Shinji could never forgive his father, even a decade after the man's death. With a weary sigh, Shinji engaged Unit01, walking it slowly as to avoid damaging surviving life, although he knew it was a fantasy.

The day passed on without as much as a bug fart. Rei had left the earth with devoid of all life; no longer would the cicadas call out in recognition of the endless summer.

Every day Shinji tried to make a stop when the heat and light of the sun were at their fullest, which was hard to determine exactly, because of the endless twilight that had been cast upon the earth. Nevertheless, today was no different as Shinji drew his Evangelion to a halt, having the massive humanoid crouch in an almost fetal position to ease his impending descent. He had stopped in what appeared to be the ruins of a small town and after consulting with his map and compass, he approximated his location to be somewhere in western Russia. All about him lay blood stained rubble, a sight to which he had become all too familiar. He ejected the entry plug and grabbed his brown leather jacket and canvas satchel from their resting place on the floor of his makeshift bedroom and wrapped a red scarf around his face and neck to prevent the inhalation of the inordinate amount of dust that pervaded across the barren landscape.

Climbing down from Unit01 always frightened Shinji; both the height and relative smoothness of the monstrosity made for a perilous journey. Luckily, there were enough unrepaired nicks and dings that made getting to ground level possible, if not easy.

A quick scan of the surrounding landscape proved Shinji's suspicions: this town, named Vnukovo if a twisted sign on the ground was to be believed, was as barren as a postmenopausal woman. Had it not been for the occasional mangled skeletal remains of a child or small animal, there would have been no sign that life had ever existed here. Shinji shuffled through the debris with a sense of disappointment. He had traveled for the better part of thirteen years searching for someone, anyone, and yet again his hopes were dashed by reality. Shinji was becoming frantic, already a deranged individual, he desperately needed human warmth. Barring that however, he needed a smoke, a drink, anything to get his mind off his troubles, but his pockets were, as he feared, empty. To make matters worse, the wind was starting to pick up, forcing handfuls of copper tasting dirt into the nooks and crannies of his clothing. With a sigh, Shinji made his way back to the Evangelion, picking up a few scattered canned goods that he was able to find under the rubble. While his search for smokes was unsuccessful, he was however able to find some bottled water, which, all things considered, was even more valuable.

After climbing back up to the shoulders of Unit01, Shinji allowed himself only a short breather before re-entering the plug. The inside smelled very much like the ruins that surrounded him. With a terrifying roar, the purple monster tore through the land, raising a dust storm in its wake that would have made records. Had anyone seen this sight, they might have thought that this was a devil, or more appropriately, some angel of death, come to finish them. However there was no one.

"I am alone…." muttered Shinji. "Completely and utterly alone…"

"You're never alone when you have me" a calm male voice in his head replied.

"K-k-kaworu? Is that you? I hear your voice…but I can't see you…"

With a flash of light, Shinji was able to see him in the cockpit just like the last time Kaworu had appeared. His soft, pale skin, those deep red eyes, that flowing gray hair, it was almost as if he had never…but he HAD died. Shinji crushed him to death with the help of the Eva.

"Is this some kind of dirty fucking angel trick? Why the hell are you here? Why do you keep fucking with me like this?"

"It's because you killed me Shinji…and after all we had been through. We had even…"

"Don't you say it! Don't you FUCKING SAY IT!" Shinji screamed with a roar of bubbles.

"And why not?" said Kaworu with a smirk. "You enjoyed it didn't you? Or was it not what you expected? Was it not like HER touch?"

"You don't know anything! JUST GO AWAY!"  
"Haha…I'll be back Lilin" said Kaworu and vanished.

"W-what?" whispered Shinji. "What do you mean? You can't come back! Kaworu? Answer me!" But when he finally desired Kaworu's presence, he was nowhere to be seen.

A scarlet sun was dipping down the scarred land, and after his mental episode, Shinji decided that he had had his fill of piloting for the day. He ejected the entry plug and climbed down into his hovel of a room. There he nestled himself into the mass of cloth that amounted to a bed a tried to sleep. Unfortunately, when he closed his eyes all he could see was Kaworu's sneering face. The face that he had tried so hard to forget, the face that made him feel small and vulnerable, almost like a small child. But most frightening of all was what the face was mouthing: "I'll be back Lilin".


	3. The Beast

Dawn broke on another cheerless day. As the merciless rays reflected off of Unit 01's frame, a faint purple glow filled the hovel which Shinji called home. With a sigh, he arose and made his way to the area of the Unit where the plug in for the umbilical cable was. A near slip jolted him wide awake and he grabbed onto the nearest handhold, which just so happened to be a large metal tank that had been jury-rigged onto the Evangelion's back. Inside of this tank was the LCL needed for Shinji to pilot his mech.

The next hour or two were spent in arduous labor; with nothing more than a beat-up bucket, Shinji was forced to fill the entry plug. As if this were not bad enough, the steepness of the climb made for many a wasted trip owing to spilled LCL, and even the numerous ropes tied onto the machine were enough to allow for easy travel, especially with cargo in tow.

When he finally got the behemoth in motion, it had already become hotter than he liked. Although he had long been without modern comforts like air conditioning, the endless heat was something that he did not enjoy. With a clank, the entry plug rammed deep into the Evangelion Unit and with a flash of color and imagery, he was in control. And though the cockpit did indeed smell of blood, and that was something he would never truly get used to, the feeling of power and control that piloting gave him was something that he would rather die than lose.

Shinji continued westward, no approaching Eastern Europe. From what he had gathered about world geography, this area was about as close to the other side of the world from Japan as one could get. But with each mile as empty and desolate as the last, he was slowly losing hope of there being any survivors to the Third Impact. Choosing to be somewhat of a recluse in his earlier years, and now forced to be, he had grown to crave human contact. How long had it been now? Ten years? No, thirteen, but it felt more like thirteen thousand. With a sigh, he paused and laid his head on his hand and his little finger brushed against a cold, wet and hard sphere lodged in his left eye socket. The memories of the only living thing he had found thus far returned to him as if it were happening for the first time.

He was continuing on his trek, as he did every day when beneath him, he spotted some wild animal nipping at the Evangelion's ankles. He had almost stepped on the beast, not knowing for sure if it was really there, or if he had finally cracked. Deciding to assume that he was still sane, which, all things considered was not the safest, he ejected himself from the mech and repelled downward. After a short drop of about three feet or so, and a quick glance, it was apparent that Shinji was at least functionally sane as there was indeed an animal there. Its species however was completely indeterminable as it was so ravaged by starvation and disease. Regardless, it was apparent that it was some kind of carnivorous beast, as there were many weak growls and what teeth were left were quite sharp. Seeing these glistening yellowed fangs made Shinji regret not bringing some kind of weaponry with him, but as he did not, he started back for the ropes. Shinji had barely lifted himself off the ground before he discovered that fangs were not the only sharp thing the wild animal had at its disposal. In one fell swipe, there were suddenly eight searing strips of flesh torn from his body; four from across his ribs, and four across his back. Before he had even a chance to react, Shinji found himself on his back, staring into the soulless eyes of what could only be a demon. He felt agonizing pain as rotting teeth raked across his face in a decidedly nonfatal, but no less painful attempt to feast. He tried pushing the beast off of him but even in its gauntness, it had to have weighed well over two hundred pounds.

'Am I…going to die here…like this?' Shinji questioned himself in a brief respite from the vicious mauling. 'After all that has happened?'

With a grunt of frustration, the animal bore down for another relentless assault, this time going for the more unprotected jugular. With a scream and a mighty kick, Shinji was able to heft the beast off of him, but not before the sharpest of teeth scraped him. The laceration started first near the jawbone, and partially due to the momentum of the kick, stretched all the way across his left eye up to his forehead. Shinji clutched at his injured eye, or what could more appropriately be called his eye hole, for the snaggled tooth had managed to shred the ball to little more than a bloodied string. Shinji brought himself to a knee, still covering his ocular wound which was by now bleeding profusely. Through the blood and sweat that obscured the vision of his now only good eye, it appeared as if the animal had not survived the impact of Shinji's foot, as it was lying motionless beside him. With a swirl of blackness, Shinji collapsed onto the animal's carcass, passing out from a lack of blood.

Shinji eyes closed briefly as he remembered this scene, one eyelid closing on a functioning eyeball, the other on an improvised prosthesis: a large white shooter marble. With a sigh he drudged on wondering what he might do should he reach the Atlantic without chancing across a surviving member of the human race. Traversing the mighty waves would be a feat nigh impossible for the Evangelion should its waters be actual water, but if they, like so much of the planet's lifeblood be LCL, then while possible, the journey would be less likely to hold the chance for survivors than even this continent. Perchance he would end his own life, using the knife he now carried at all times following his unfortunate mishap with the starving beast. His suicidal thoughts were broken however by a flicker of movement across the horizon. At first, Shinji chalked this up to imagination. After all, the last living thing he had seen was just a scant couple of years after the Third Impact. But imagination it was not, as a plume of dust was moving in a planet now devoid of winds. There was a moment's hesitation as Shinji stared at this in disbelief, and then he shoved his controls forward, urging the Evangelion to run at a break-neck pace, rising his own cloud of dust in the process.

"What the hell could be making something like that?" Shinji screamed into the breathable liquid surrounding him.

Miles sped past him as the Evangelion practically flew in the westward direction of the plume. The marathon of the giant mechanical beast led Shinji to a sparsely wooded mountain region, where the dust devil had made visibility almost zero. However, very much like a devil itself, the enormous perpetrator of said dust storm suddenly came into sight. Sensing Shinji's presence the large and looming silhouette froze and turned to face its pursuer.

"OH SHIT!" screamed Shinji. "No! It can't be! Not again! That's no devil…it's a FUCKING ANGEL!"


	4. Introjection: a Man's Battle

Shinji was frozen in abject terror as the hulking, black, vaguely humanoid mass turned to face him. Like a trip to the past, to that day that made his whole life change, before him stood was what could only be described as Sachiel: the Third Angel.

"I-impossible! That can't be real!" yelled Shinji from a cockpit that now felt quite vulnerable. "You're already dead!"

As if it could feel Shinji's disbelief, the Angel rushed forward with unbelievable speed; much faster than the similar Angel Shinji had faced fourteen years ago. With its three long, black claws the alien creature lifted Unit 01 off the ground as if it weighed nothing. A glowing spike shot out from its elbow and sped back in.

"Oh fuck no!" Shinji roared yanking hard on the controls. Very much like a stop sign, a huge octagonal field of rippling yellow energy burst from the Evangelion, sending the Angel flying backwards and breaking its arm in the process. Immediately the Angel stood up on its long thin legs, and with a sickening slosh regenerated its arm. Not exactly a new trick for these enigmatic beings, but Shinji distinctly remembered being on the other side of the equation last time he was fighting this specific monster. Sachiel threw itself at Shinji with renewed vigor. With a thought, the Evangelion halted the attack and held the monster back in a way that would have been quite reminiscent of sumo wrestlers, had both beings been several tons fatter.

"Dammit! I really need a weapon" though Shinji as the flexible behemoth wrapped its arms about the Evangelion. And if this Sachiel had the same abilities, but on steroids, the megaton explosion would not be something he could live through, especially considering the condition of his bio-mech. Like some sort of demonic python, the Angel tightened its python grip around the Evangelion, pinning the armored arms to its side. As Shinji heard the metal on the outside of the Unit creak, he realized that he was about to die. Like all of the times before, he was filled with a mixture of disbelief and fear. He furiously yanked at the controls, but unsurprisingly, it was to no avail. As Shinji felt his doom was drawing nigh, he heard a strange, yet familiar sound. Maybe it was luck, or perhaps it was fate, but as Shinji turned to locate the sound, he saw the left shoulder compartment of Evangelion Unit 01 burst open and Shinji found himself staring right at the progressive knife. With a roar, the Evangelion burst through the Angels arms, and whipped out the progressive knife. With a revolting sound, the black severed arms flopped on the ground, and Shinji sliced wildly with the knife. Because the Angel was quickly shuffling backwards Shinji was several yards short with each slash, for some reason, it appeared as if they were having some effect. Lacerations started appearing across the Angel's body, and a crimson tide started flowing from these wounds. Encouraged by his seemingly unstoppable assault, Shinji let out a primitive yell, and the Evangelion followed suit, albeit with a massive burst of an AT field that knocked the Angel off its feet. With the adrenaline pumping, and his heart racing, Shinji was unaware of the crackling yellow energy that was moving down both his own arm, and the arm of the Evangelion. As he made the unit crouch down and grip the blade firmly, he was equally unaware as the energy made its way from the arm of the Eva, down to the blade itself. The purple and green monstrosity, carnal beast barely tamed, rushed for the Angel, holding a now glowing knife, that for all intents and purposes appeared to be growing in length. Shinji charged headlong into the half-erect monster and plunged the blade deep into its vulnerable core. The angel let out an unearthly squeal as it struggled violently, trying unsuccessfully to remove the glowing metal sheet. Inside the entry plug, a couple of beads of sweat floated off of Shinji's whiskered jaw as he silently pushed forward on the controls as he squeezed his eyes shut. Had his eyes been open, he would have seen the once frightening Angel, now pitifully writhing its last, and finally dying, sliding off the progressive knife and into a pool of its own blood. However, Shinji did not see any of this. In fact, it was a full minute before he opened his eyes again; he then realized that he had been holding his breath. The Evangelion slowly shuffled away from the carnage and headed towards the base of the nearest mountain. As the mech half-collapsed, Shinji noticed the greenery around him for the first time. While all of Japan, and indeed even the Asian continent was a barren wasteland, there was a surprisingly high amount of living foliage. Granted, it was no forest, but the amount of life filled Shinji with disbelief. So much disbelief, in fact, that he stared in shock for what had to have been an hour. For the first time in thirteen years: life. Life. That simple four-letter word sparked a thought that made Shinji through the Evangelion into a feverish run: there may be survivors in this oasis of flora. First he ran to the top of the short mountain and scanned the horizon for signs of life. Seeing none, he ran down, as fast as the S2 engine could make the mech go, and blazed through the forest. The hours slipped by like minutes, the minutes like seconds and before he knew it, the blazing red orb in the sky had disappeared from sight. We he noticed this, the Evangelion dropped to the ground, face first, in an unmistakably human expression of total despair. Inside the cockpit, manly tears flowed silently down a grizzled face. Images of death and destruction flashed through Shinji's fragile mind as he desperately tried to fight his urges to give up right then and there and simply end his own life.

"Thirteen years…thirteen long-ass-mother-fucking YEARS!" he howled in a tone rent by immeasurable emotional pain.

Without thinking, Shinji slowly pulled his knife from its pocket. It slipped silently from his hand and spun in slow summersaults in front of his face and opened its deceptively beautiful polished blade that shone in the soft orange of LCL lit by moonlight. As if in a trance, his fingers grasped the worn handle, and found its worn grooves. With only a small upset in the LCL, the blade was brought to rest in the crux of Shinji's elbow. Surreally, the razor-like edge split the skin smoothly, leaving behind, at first, nothing, followed later only by a thin, deep red line that oozed a deep red dye. The split continued all the way up to his slender wrists, and by that time, the LCL not only smelled of blood, but was also quite nearly blood colored as well. The light was slowly fading from Shinji's eyes, and his life was slowly ending as his grip on the controls slacked and his body drooped forward.

Perhaps it was due to loss of blood to the brain, or maybe it was something deeper, even spiritual, but Shinji had the strangest feeling that he was traveling down a warm, dark long tunnel. At the end, there was a small slit of light, and in it he could see a woman who could only be his mother, Yui. She smiled lovingly at him, as her short brown hair started to grow. Red streaks, much like fire, sprouted from her head, as her body shrunk her breasts became smaller and her demeanor soured. Shinji tried desperately to yell and stop this horror, but as he had no physical body, he was unable. The light faded and now all f Shinji's universe consisted of was a loose consciousness completely enveloped by the woman he had both loved…and murdered: Asuka Langley Soryu .

"Dear God…I'm in hell…"


End file.
